Sometimes I struggle because I find I am in need of breathe, and I wonder,
Why can I not just get a job, build a house, buy a car and start a “normal” life. Instead I have restlessness like few others I have ever met. In moments passing in one place I am ready to go. It is sad, but it is almost like the wind calls me at its every movement. I wish I could settle for a “normal” life, but only in the open air, the open road, on the verge of the unknown does my soul rest. But then again is this just laziness?
Am I a looser, whose life purpose is to be a bum? A leech? Am I running from commitment? What purpose is there in my wondering?
Really I do not know, and I do not know how to make it stop. I have prayed to be free of this calling, this heart, this life, but it is mine. This is me. Call me bum, leech or lazy and I would not deny it, but we have all been created with a special purpose, and the way I have been created is different. Strange, yes, but I have learned to listen to my heart, and my heart is the heart of a five year old boy who does not fear the world, free of material wealth, and free to love, explore and dream.
It is a hard life, maybe one that I would not choose, but this is the life I am given and if I try to live any other way it is like sinking to the bottom of the ocean. So many times this life is lonely, the nights are cold and the days are hot, the road is a long one, but in it I find breathe. I find the Lord and I find purpose.
7 comments:
You may be living like this for some future purpost. One day, the Lord may put on your hear that it is time to settle down and live a "normal" life, but with your adventurous past, you never know who you will touch. Live as the Lord will have you live and make the best of it.
My son and I have enjoyed following your journey. We look forward to you getting back on the road soon.
Enjoy your break.
Rich
always follow your heart, never stop doing that.. Our job is to keep the head quiet.. Gain some kilos and move on.. aloha!
Mmm....take joy in this passion! There are few in this world who have a passion, let alone are able to follow it. Embrace this gift He has given you! One day, it will probably prove to be worth more than you could imagine :-)
Hi Justin, i'm Sofia, i posted in the three thorn forum about Mexico and i got your reply with your blog.. Anyways i'm skipping Mexico due to the weather, and i'll be in ciudad de Guatemala next monday (sept. 3rd), i guess i'll stay in the city for 2 days and then will start biking south...which route..no idea yet, probably the carretera al pacifico, but that's why i want to ask you about the route you did in Guatemala... if you are in the States i would like to call you and talk to you... my email is popia7@gmail.com
Thanks a lot Sofia
Justin, I kind of stumbled on your blog...we went to high school together. Anyway, I am just amazed at your willingness to follow the call that God has placed on your life. What an inspiration! God will surely bless you with a great measure of His Spirit!
I think that God might be teaching you things that can be taught anywhere else. Remember the men in the bible who all spent some time alone in the wilderness. Moses had a staff and sheep, you have bike and a tent.
i'm pretty sure this got one of the highest comment responses cause the content resonates and stirs people. as it should. i'd like to, at 29, feel i'm in this club as well, of the few who battle wanderlust, confused with commitment. over the years i've had bout with it. solomon asked for wisdom. God gave it to him. He said everything has a season, and a time. This is a season, and others are right to encourage embracing this season. But when the change comes, i pray, as I'm sure you do, for the strength and wisdom to acknowledge it, and choose it. we're sojourners and this earth is not our home. we are creatures of change. But choice is where we've been given power to overcome a fallen creation. continue to choose wisely how to distribute love appropriately. love God, and love people. happy trails. ~ a new fan.
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