Some words-

You must forgive me because sometimes I write too much.
Many would find it too personal, but if you know me, I try to hide nothing.
On my last day in Honduras I wrote a few lines that are quite personal and not polished,
so forgive me for them. I want not only to share the good times of my journey, but the struggles also, not only the hard times but the sweet ones too. These words just kind of poured out of me and I do not understand all of them, but they are just words that have flowed out of three months on the road.


No longer you-
I hate you
If I were you, you would hate me too
But you are not me, and I am not you
I am glad that I am not you
I do not know if you are glad not to be me
I did not always hate you
But now that I think about it you have always hated me
You kill me
I do not need you
But you feed on me
Sometimes I feel I need you and that is what makes me hate you so
You wait
I pretend that you are not there
I yell at you to leave
You wait
I kick you
You wait
I talk to you nicely asking you to leave
You wait
I hate you
I really do
You don’t believe me
I don’t believe you either
I quit talking to you
You keep talking to me
You wait
I wonder if I can kill you
You wonder if you can kill me too
Someday will come
And someday you will both die
I will not cry for you
If you were me you would not cry either
If you were me, you would hate me too
And some day we might both cry together
I will wave goodbye and on that day I might not smile
But I will still hate you
The more I hate you the more you try to kill me
Because of you the child cries
Suffering and death
I hate you
I would kill you
You kill with such coolness
You crush
You smother
You wait
Hunger
Poverty
Disease
Famine
Death
You wait
I yell
I beg
You kill
Death
You breathe when I breath
You wait when I wait
You pulse with my blood
You see with my eyes
You consume the heart with fire and passion
I am you
You consumed me
What I hate most is that you are me
I hate, you hate
You kill because I have killed
You wait because I have waited
I breathe
You breathe
You wait
I wait
You are guilty
I am guilty
You point at me
I confess
You are silent
I cry
But you don’t cry
I have fed you
You have starved me
I cry out
I am guilty
Your head is on the floor
You look up and yell at me
I yell
You beg to make it stop
And I cry to make it stop
From the depth comes forgiveness
Light pours over my shoulders
Death you no longer rein
Another voice says I do not hate you
I love you
But I caused poverty I say
Famine I have been
Death I have caused
The voice says you have died
The sin was once you
It was once you
Once you
You
No longer you
It is no longer you
The sin is no longer you


Don’t go near the water-
Upon an island in the sea, sits a soul.
Surrounded by water and the heart drifts in the breeze.
The kite soars and the ocean waves lap up the beach to eat all those not stirring.
If only the hands would release the string, over the ocean it would fly.
To a distant land where it would fly and the ocean waves would not crash against it ever again never again leaving it broken in a thousand pieces. Rest, only comes in short breathes like those of a swimmer, and sinking weights drags it all down. Pressure of the depth squeezes and the head pounds, shaky becomes the feeling and a wish to fly with the kites instead of sink to the bottom of the sea. Near death it is quiet and the words have been all removed now and the only thing that is heard is static that blares loud from the alarm clock on the bed stand. The light moves like mouths and slowly, ever so slowly it swallows. A pat on the back and a certificate of good service, the checks come regularly now. These old bones and flabby flesh have been sold and the price was not so high, but not too low. All said that it was what was supposed to be, the blood is all gone, and the breathing is short and the water gray like an old nickel. Upon the box sits a picture of a younger man with the image of a kite in his eye, but rather he went swimming.


The flesh of animals-
As you laid there was nothing was seen but the flesh of animals, broken and torn,
Blood poured out like the river flowing into the sea
The soil drank your blood
You fool
You crazy fool
You cannot walk to the sun
It would rather run over you
You tried and it smashed against you
The sun was in a rush to drop off its passengers
But you had not paid for the ride
And it was in to much of a rush
The blood of the animals and man are left to pay the price
And sometimes boys stop to kick and poke
None are stirred, not even a mother of the animal flesh
You can be replaced
A few tears fall in front of the church for show
Shovels of dirt and now you lay far below
And the next day the sun returns
It burns
You crazy fool it is all your fault
Watch out next time
Or buy a ticket

In one day-
The sunrises
The sunsets
Dream
Drink
Eat
Sleep
Ride
Wave
Curse
Cry
Listen
Watch
Receive
Give
Laugh
Dream
Drink
Eat
Sleep
The sunrises
The sunsets
Watch
Listen
Laugh
Dream
Silence
Stare
Look around
Are you there?
Have you forgotten?
What time is it?
Eat
Sleep
The sunsets
The sunrises
Sleep
Dream
Are you here?
Really what time is it?
I think it is a Wednesday
Or is it Thursday
You better get going
The sunrises
The sunsets
Think
Dream
Laugh
Cry
Why are you crying?
It must be Friday now
Drink some tea
Do you feel better?
Yes
Thank you
Wave
Smile
Laugh
Children
Gringo
Wait that’s me
But I smile
And wave
The sunrises
The sunsets
It is cold
It is hot
It is raining
The ground is rocky
Listen
Dream
Wondering
Pondering
Smiling
Crying
Pounding
Peddling
It must be Friday now
The sunsets
Soon the sunrises
Later the sunsets
Earlier then the day before
Is the day getting shorter?
It must be
Think
Laugh
Sleep
Dream
Or was that all a dream
It has been a long day
The days must be getting longer
I lost my watch two weeks ago
Are you happy?
I am happy
Are you happy?
Did you not just ask me that?
I am happy
Are you happy?
I guess it does not matter if I am happy
Are you happy with me?
I am happy with you
Now you better get some sleep
Sunsets
Sunrises
Another day




Fast Food-
Cheap and easy
Quick and speedy
Pull up fast
Get down the road
It’s not personal
But you say you are not greedy
It makes you feel good
Not so slender, maybe even a little fat
You don’t mind
You say it is so cheap and easy
And quick and speedy
The radio is turned down,
Which make you frown
But then again comes the heavenly sound
“May I take you order”
Hot and ready
You know the tone
You are happy, maybe not so slender; actually you have become quite fat
Quite fat does not look good in the mirror
Diet coke you order,
Super size you say
It has zero calories
You dream of burgers and fries
Floats and fried apple pies
Once there was a box now a sack
Once you had been given a toy, you say now you are too big for that
It used to be better back in the day
You pulled up on your bike
Back then not quite as cheap and easy
Nor as quick nor speedy
You pulled up fast
It was hot and ready
No super size then
No diet coke then
No zero calories then
You were happy not so fat but quite thin
Time have changed
The old times are gone
In too much of a hurry these days for even a little change
To fat to go in
To slow
You say you know
So quick and fast
Has become fat and slow
You order super sized and a salad
Low carbs
And diet coke
Times have changed
And down the road you go
Until tomorrow
Oh, my you look bloated