The funny thing is that you think that I would be used to returning to Oklahoma and that it would be easy, but I must confess that I have been a lot of different places over the years, but returning to Oklahoma this time has kind of has me freaking out and it is hard. Maybe it is too much of the familiar mixed in, old faces and places, but it is not the same. Like a blast from the past, something like you know that you have been here before, but not quite the same. Over the last few years it feels like I am always moving, but it feels like moving forward, but coming back to Oklahoma feels like moving backwards. Maybe it is not a challenge physically, no landmines or deserts to cross, but going back to the place where I once lived, and where I known in part, parts of me that maybe I want to forget about, the old me, that is not really who I am now.
It is great to see family, great to see friends, well the ones that are left.
Oklahoma seems much more small town, it feels so safe, everyone so friendly, people are always asking lots of questions and striking up conversation. The driving is so tame, and everything is so cheap! We parked down town OKC last night for $5. My 10 year high school reunion is coming up, and I do not know if I am ready for all this history. I love the future, I love dreaming and planning what is next. But learning to be "here" is a good lesson in this season on my life, and "here" meaning Oklahoma is a good place, it is a great place to me because all my family is here. It is a great place because I can see so much of myself here, so many memories, so many great memories.
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